What's Going on in BlackWhiteConnections?

Hey,How's it going everyone?As always I hope & pray that all is well with everyone & if not that things turn around VERY soon.

This blog is going to discuss:

•  Why BlackWhiteConnections was started
• What it's purpose is
• What we expect of our members
• Where BlackWhiteConnections is going if things don't change
• What BlackWhiteConnections could be with the help that's needed

 I have been in VERY deep thought about the state of BlackWhiteConnections & what's going on in it for a long time now. With me being the creator & leader of BlackWhiteConnections I take on all of the responsibility for:

• What it is,
• The direction it's going in, 
• Implementing Rules & Regulations, to ensure that BlackWhiteConnections is going in the direction it's supposed to be going in,
• finding people to help implement these things

I believe I have done good on all of these things, except the last one of finding people to help implement these things.
This has been my top issue since I started BlackWhiteConnections, because I don't have a lot of friends that are willing to help run things along with me & I am only one person, so it's IMPOSSIBLE for me to do EVERYTHING that's needed to be done.
The black women/white men dating community has grown even more since I started BlackWhiteConnections 3 yrs ago. When I started this community of BlackWhiteConnections there were only a handful of black women/white men groups online & only 3 dating websites that dealt with black women/white men wanting to date each other. These same sites were open to all interracial dating & they didn't offer a way to narrow your search by race, ethnicity or area. Only age & sex. So if you were a white man (like myself) that was looking to date a black woman you had to go through thousands of profiles that didn't have anything to do with you before you got to the ones that did. This is one of the reasons I started BlackWhiteConnections.
Another reason I started BWC was because I was tired of the interracial groups & sites that allowed black women & white men to join but mostly catered to black men & white women. There was nothing really special about them & many of them I, as well as friends I had talked to , felt like we were left out & didn't belong at these places.
I have always believed in narrowing searches down to the smallest detail to be able to get exactly what you're looking for. Not a general one. So I felt if I created a community for black women & white men specifically, that was only for them that would set us apart from the competition.
Many of the websites & groups that I have been in or a part of that deal with interracial dating or black women/white men dating are very negative & allow all kinds of drama into them. I HATE drama & negativity. I have enough of that in my life. I don't need more & I knew many other people felt that way as well. So I knew that if I also created a loving, caring, accepting, supportive place for black women & white men to be a part of this would also set BWC apart from the competition. Not to mention this would give the community a closeness, a feeling of that we are one & we are family. Many people now days come from families that aren't very positive & aren't as supportive as they would like them to be. When you add in the aspect of interracial dating it goes up even higher, so BWC could be their family & they could get the positivity that they want & need.
The last reason I created BWC was because I saw the potential that it had with all these elements put together along with how these people were just that. They are people, human beings, they also purchase products in many different industries. At the moment there are no interracial companies that offer products or services in many industries. So if I was able to put together this wonderful community & raise or find people to invest in it then BWC would be set apart from ALL of these other interracial companies that do exist & BWC could also be set apart from the other companies in these industries that we would enter, with the niche market of black women/white men in mind. That's because people support businesses & industries that they believe in & feel a part of. They also support ones that give more than they expect.

Lets examine what I have explained to you so far about why BlackWhiteConnections was created

1. Because many people that I had talked to in the BWWM community were not happy or satisfied with what was available to us at the moment, in the way of meeting others in the BWWM community
2. Because people in the BWWM community are looking for a loving, caring, positive, supportive place to congregate online & to meet with these people in person
3. Because many people that I talked to in the BWWM community wanted something that was specific & not general. They didn't feel comfortable in general interracial groups or websites & felt it was even more difficult to find what they were looking for in these places
4. Because I saw the potential that BlackWhiteConnections had in the way of, being a worldwide community & family, being able to help & support those in this community in every way, providing a new place for people to work at, & the amount of industries that we could enter, as well as the amount of money that we could potentially make if that was done

WHAT DO WE EXPECT OF OUR MEMBERS

• We expect that they are a black woman or white man that's already married to one or that they are looking to date one
• That they are positive & don't bring any negativity or drama into BWC
• That if they have a disagreement with someone that they politely work things out between each other & if they aren't able to that they go to a admin to help them work out their differences
• That they are active & participate in BWC (that means that they check the groups & fanpage at least once a week, post questions or discussion topics, post videos for members to watch & discuss, post links to websites, blogs, & podcasts to discuss, That they comment on others posts. That's the LEAST)
• That they actively are doing something for BWC, that they are doing something to help BWC run or grow

WHERE IS BLACKWHITECONNECTIONS GOING IF THINGS DON'T CHANGE

If things don't change, then sadly BlackWhiteConnections is going to die! People will stop coming to the groups & fanpage & they will stop having conversations with each other. I'll be forced to close everything down & we won't have this loving, positive, caring, supportive, family community anymore. We will be stuck with the negative drama filled ones.

WHAT BLACKWHITECONNECTIONS COULD BE WITH THE HELP THAT'S NEEDED

 With the help that's needed BlackWhiteConnections can be ALL of the things I named here & more! There's SO MANY avenues & places that we could take this it's mind boggling!
Think about it; we could have our own private hotel/spa on an island, we could have our own nightclubs to go to, we could have our own media & production companies, our own fashion & health care lines, have conventions around the world for black women & white men to meet others from around the world & educate each other while we entertain you,etc.

WHAT JOBS ARE NEEDED TO BE DONE 
  
OPERATIONS

• Someone to post the daily themes everyday
• Someone to post videos to discuss everyday
• Someone to post discussion topics everyday
• Some to post links to things to discuss 2 or 3 times a week
• Someone to keep discussions going in the comments section
• Someone to workout differences & keep things positive

MARKETING

• Blog 
• Video Blog
• Contests
• Word of Mouth, Spreading the word about BWC to others
• Newsletter
• Analystics

These are the bare minimum things that need to be done in order for BlackWhiteConnections to run as well as be successful. I pray that all of you read this blog & now have a better idea of what's going on in BWC, as well as what's going to happen if things don't change. I also hope that you actually care whether these things happen or not. But I will say this, If you DON'T CARE whether these things happen or not, YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS being in BWC, because as I stated BWC is a family & we CARE about each other as well as what's going on with each other & this community.

We're More Alike Than We Are Different

Everything said or written in this & all other blogs in the BlackWhiteConnections blog are the personal thoughts of Jeremy Nelson or are from a collection of thoughts by various black women or white men.

What has led you to believe you have nothing & couldn’t have anything in common with a black woman or white man? That you couldn’t & wouldn’t have similar hobbies? That you couldn’t or wouldn’t enjoy the same things? What makes you think this?

Is it the media? Is it your parents? Is it your friends & family? Have you stopped long enough to ask yourself & them where they are getting their information from or have you swallowed what they said whole & didn’t question it at all?

What makes you think the media is correct in everything they say or do? You may say they are bound by laws & ethics, but what happens if those laws are skewed or the person or media reporting or giving these impressions don’t live up to these ethics or simply they believe they are right & doing the right thing?

Racist pieces of trash believe they are right & doing the right thing as well. Does that make it so? Does that make it true & accurate? I suppose that depends on your upbringing, value system & what you personally believe. Because whatever you believe is true IS TRUE FOR YOU. Whether it’s actually true or not, in your mind, your beliefs make it so.

I’m here to tell you as a white man that loves & cherishes black women, that also has dated black women for 13 yrs now, that we DO have things in common with black women.

We both enjoy listening to music & yes there are a number of black women out there that listen to rock, heavy metal, punk, classical & country music. All black women DO NOT just listen to R&B, hip hop, rap & gospel. Actually the majority of the black women I know & have met don’t really like rap. They find it demeaning. Though some black women do or will listen to rap now & then.

We also enjoy watching movies & no black women DO NOT only watch Tyler Perry movies! Many black women I know or have met enjoy & prefer horror movies & action. Many black women enjoy reading as well. They enjoy spending quality time with friends & family, especially their man.

There are black women that enjoy skateboarding & snowboarding as well. There are a number of black women that enjoy bowling & playing video games, along with board games.

The point I’m looking to make here is that black women are people just like anyone else & what the media has portrayed as to who & what black women are & what they enjoy doing couldn’t be further from the truth.

Yes, there is a minuscule amount of truth to most of the things the media says or portrays about black women, but the far majority is false or exaggerated.

What My Vision For BlackWhiteConnections Is

I've been getting more & more impressions that many of you still don't know exactly what BlackWhiteConnections is & what it's about.I've been seeing that many of you think it's simply just another IR (interracial relationship) or bwwm (black women white men) group like the 1000's of other groups out there under this topic. So I decided to write this blog to share what BlackWhiteConnections is,my vision for it & what we're attempting to do or accomplish with BlackWhiteConnections.
With this being said,I don't want any of you to misunderstand or misconstrue things & think this is all about me or a platform for me to find black women to be with.
BlackWhiteConnections is,has been,& ALWAYS WILL BE about YOU,the bwwm (black women white men) community. Which I simply am a part of.
BlackWhiteConnections was started as an online community;using groups & profiles in different social networking sites such as,myspace,blackplanet,yahoo groups,& facebook to be grown into a full fledge  business & corporation.
I was sick & tired of all the current IR (interracial relationship) dating sites & groups that predominantly cater to bmww (black men white women) & simply allow black women & white men to join.

At the time I created BlackWhiteConnections none of those sites allowed you to search profiles by race or area,only by sex & age.So if you were a white man like me looking for a black woman or vise versa,you had to look through 1000's of profiles you weren't interested in.Also in order to be able to email the people you did find (if you had hours of free time to actually find them) you had to become a paying member.
Call me cheap if you wish,but I have always believed  that being able to contact people on sites should be a basic & free service on ALL sites.
That all money should be made through advertising,offering premium services,such as cam to cam chat/dating,call in privacy (where you call in & talk to the person you're interested in with out giving your number to them),online conferencing,etc.And offering entertainment options & diversifying how you make money,bye offering many different things for people to buy & be a part of.
It's because of this belief & my vision that I see the potential that BlackWhiteConnections has.That of being a self contained community that can become a part of just about every industry out there!

Some of you may be wondering what I mean when I say "a self contained community",what I mean by that is:a community made up of black women & white men that are married,dating, or interested in marrying or dating each other.That help each other & support each other;mentally,emotionally,financially,romantically,& spiritually.
We don't have to depend on the outside or greater community to provide these things.WE CAN PROVIDE THEM OURSELVES!!!
BlackWhiteConnections is made up of very diverse people & educations or careers.This is how we can do this,along with BlackWhiteConnections itself which can provide all of these needs.We just need to come together as one to accomplish this & that is what we at BlackWhiteConnections are working to accomplish.


So many people go to work at a job they hate just to pay their bills &/or provide them with the life they want for themselves.Imagine being a part of & having a job you get paid well for,that you love & are very passionate about.IT'S POSSIBLE!
We could even make our own physical community in the form of a city or country!IT'S POSSIBLE!!!!
Imagine not having to deal with the ugly looks & stare while you're out with your significant other or on a date.Having a community of people that love,care,respect,& support you.It's ALL POSSIBLE PEOPLE!!!
How about those of you in school but worried about finding a job when you graduate or those of you that are skilled at many different things,but aren't sure what to do or are unemployed.BlackWhiteConnections could take care of that for you!
This is my vision for BlackWhiteConnections.My hope & prayer.My dream & what I & the rest of BlackWhiteConnections are working hard to accomplish.

Straight From The Mouths Of Women In BlackWhiteConnections,What Women Expect Of Men

I posed the question on my facebook status and here's the results,straight from the mouths of some of the women that make up BlackWhiteConnections. Guys here's your chance to pay attention and get some insight into what our beautiful black queens are wanting and expecting from us,so PAY ATTENTION!!!!

shenikwa says: Be for real. Be yourself even if that means she won't like you.

Elizabeth  says: If you like what you see be assertive and approach. Stop being scared we'll bite

Bianca  says: Be loving, caring, hella fun, sensitive, and understanding

Akila  says: I expect ACTIVE LISTENING...loyalty...not too much jealousy & at the same time make me feel attractive...positive reciprocity! Romance,excitement,open mindedness,sweet and kind ,patience too

Tina says: sweet,kind,loyal,romantic,fun to be around,and a great listener to when we have problems. The most important one of all is respect,always gotta be respectful

Alexis  says: I expect you to live the Golden Rule in reference to the life you lead. I hope we can debate about issues that hold special significance to each of us but agree to disagree when the time is right. Don't be some iceberg I have to climb and ...crack open. Please know how to kiss without tongue and with. Be okay with PDA's within reason. Be willing to share you interests like I'll share mine with you, don't leave it to me to come up with ideas on activities we can do together all the time. Nothing is more boring than two people staring at each other and asking "What do you want to do?" 

Kenda says: First off we want respect then loyalty...honesty...communication...and trust....but most of all we want love...pure, true, real, unconditional love...if there is love all of the things above will fall n2 place...we dont want a man that claims to love us but doesn show it...or a man that disrespects women by calling them bitches or hoes etc 

Ajiri The Leader Of BlackWhiteConnections Africa says: Real Men, not afraid to be who they are.Thats the beauty of the world variety, someone out there is looking for that special and unique trait or personality 

If you look here you'll start to see some common elements;respect,being yourself,know what you want and being assertive,honesty and communication are all common things basically all of the ladies told us they expect from men. So guys if you're trying to be someone you truly aren't STOP!!!! Be yourself and just relax. Remember you're not getting married to these women tomorrow and it takes a bit of time to open up completely and get to know each other intimately.

If you just genuinely be yourself you won't come off as fake or trying too hard and the women will pick up on that this is the REAL YOU and they will be able to better decide if they like you or not and if they are interested in getting to know you better. With this being said remember that you aren't wanting to get someone under false pretenses but who you actually are and what you're REALLY looking for. Trust and believe that WHATEVER that may be there's plenty of women out there that are looking for the same thing.

The key is being yourself,knowing your strengths and weaknesses,highlighting your strengths and doing your best to stay away from your weaknesses(while you work on them to strengthen them),then being assertive and straight forward.

People HATE to have their time wasted. Men and Women alike. So don't waste your time or anyone elses. Tell that beautiful woman you're interested in exactly what you're looking for and want to see happen. I guarantee that NO MATTER WHAT that may be they will respect you a lot more for being open and honest,than trying to play games and hide things.

I hope this blesses all of you and that those that needed some insight in these areas gained what they needed. If any of you have comments or questions that have to deal with this topic please make sure you add them so we all can share

Have You Always Been Attracted To Black Women Or White Men & Why?

Out of the thousands of black women and white men I have talked to that date interracially I have gotten mixed reviews on this question of if they always have been attracted to or interested in black women (bw) or white men (wm).

All of the white men I talked to said they have always been attracted to or interested in black women.Most of them said they didn't think black women would like or be interested in them though,or they said they were afraid of black women.

I can relate to that because that's how it was with me as well.I didn't think black women were interested in white men romantically or sexually.

The black women either admitted to always being attracted to white men ( most of these women said they were afraid of what society and more importantly their family and peers would think,say,and do if they admitted to being attracted to or liking white men though and this is what held them back.A good number of these women also thought white men weren't interested in them or wouldn't have relationships with them) or said they had a girl friend or family member that dated a white guy and suggested they also do it,because they were much happier.

Then there were some that said they got fed up with dating black,latin,spanish or puerto rican men and heard good things about dating white men or thought "what the hell.I'll give it a shot".

All of the white men said they loved black women's bodies.Especially a big ole booty!!!After talking to these white men further they all also admitted to liking black women's personalities as well,but it was the beauty and body that initially drew them in,because men are sexual beings.We think sex before anything else.

Women are more maternal,then think security and long term before other things.The black women said they liked our personalities and how we treated them (like queens) as well.

Everyone has special reasons for liking others,but taken as a whole these are the answers I've got after dating strictly black women for 12 yrs now and talking to thousands of white men and black women that dated interracially or are thinking about it.

What's The State Of Social Networking Sites & What's The Point Of A Network

I was reading a book on business prospecting yesterday and it was talking about networks and it REALLY touched me,because it said EXACTLY what I felt!

It said "a real network is not a group of acquaintances who might be able to help you out someday.Instead,a network is an association of individuals who have a solid relationship with each other and a strong commitment to the success of everyone within that group".

This got me thinking about the state of social networking sites and more specifically groups on those sites,as well as elsewhere.

 

How many of these groups and websites fit this definition?

As some of you may know I've been a part of the bwwm (black women white men) community for 12yrs now.Five years of this I have been part of the online bwwm (black women white men) groups and two years of it I have had my own bwwm (black women white men) groups called blackwhiteconnections.

What I have noticed and seen over the years in these groups is that most of the time they get a number of members and for around three months they do well with members coming in and responding to questions,discussion topics,and adding question and discussion topics themselves,but then the group just dies.

People stop coming to the group,checking it,and adding to it.Either by answering questions,discussion topics,or adding their own.

IN my own group on myspace (http://groups.myspace.com/blackwhiteconnections) after a year I sent out a mass email asking what was going on with the group and asking members to add the groups profile page to their friends list,so I could send one update to reach everyone so I didn't have to email all 2,500 members.

Over half of these members (1,500) didn't even know or remember they were even a part of the group or what it was!!!

What I found out through my group and then talking to other people that have bwwm (black women white men) groups is

• Most people end up joining because they are curious and visit the group two or three times and then forget about it,as well as that they are still members.
• They also don't usually introduce themselves or add anything to the group.

Now also this seems to be the case with people on social networking sites as well that aren't even in groups.

They add a slew of people to their friends list building it up into the high hundreds and even thousands,then don't even bother to reach out to these people through email or instant messages sent to them from these people on their friends list.

This brings me back to the definition of networks that I described in the beginning of this blog and to ask a question

• What's the point of joining a social networking site or group if your not going to interact with the people in the groups you join or the people you add to your friends list?

• Why do you think these groups and websites were started?

It's my hope and prayer that this blog brings about a lot of discussion and makes people wake up and realize what they are doing and how they are being viewed,as I know MANY people that won't even add someone if they have more than 100 people on their friends list for this very reason.

What Do You Really Want

Hello everyone,how is everything going for you?I hope and pray all is well and if not they get better VERY soon.

The topic of this blog is the first question I posted on the boards when I first started blackwhiteconnections in myspace and it's still the #1 and most important question for all members to ask themselves and answer,because if you don't know what you want, how are you supposed to get what you want?

What I as well as many other bwwm group leaders/owners have noticed is that the far majority of you joining these groups think or assume that these groups are only to "hook up" or meet someone to be with in some way,shape,or form.

Lets examine this in further detail and come up with a plan on how someone under this criteria could get what they want.

Lets assume far a minute that the male is looking for women to give him sexual gratification or to please him sexually somehow and the female is looking for a man that will respect her,honor her,talk to her,build a friendship and romance,give her some form of commitment,love her,and then give her sexual gratification.

I'll start with the male since they are much easier and faster to examine.Since their only want is to be sexually gratified the only qualification they have is that the females they approach can and will give them sexual gratification.

In other words,they find them attractive and sexy,plus the female has or will provide sexual pics,such as bikini pictures,booty pics,and other sexually provocative pictures including possible naked pictures or they will talk to them sexually or about sexual topics.

If the female has 1 or 2 of these qualifications they get what they want,because the qualifications are so low and there's enough females out there that fall into these qualifications so it's very easy for the average male to get what he wants,as long as this is what they want and as you ladies already know just about 90-95% of the guys online fall into this standard.

Now lets examine the female,she has far more qualifications so it's much more difficult for her to get what she wants.Then when you add into this the sad fact that 90-95% of guys online automatically try to talk about sexual things or get sexual pictures from the females they talk to (because as I just went over,most guys online only want sexual gratification) it's even further and almost impossible for the average female to get what she's looking for online.

Now as most of you know there is no real set type of male or female.Everyone has a different personality,experiences,wants,needs,as well as many other things.But if you take a group as a whole you can see many of the same things and this is what i'm doing here,so please no rude or ignorant messages or emails about this subject please!

Many females add into the qualifications they already have that the guy is in their area and since almost 100% of the people you meet online (much less the bwwm groups) aren't in your area, they are already set up to fail and not get what they want.

Lets say this qualification isn't in their list of qualifications though and just go through the other qualifications and how they can get what they want.

Sadly as most of you know because of the standard of guys that I already went through,the stack is already built against you.So your only option to get what your looking for is to hopefully find it someplace else or to put up with the ignorance of the guys in these places. 

My suggestion to you for finding guys that fit the qualifications that I originally listed is

• find a place where intellectual people get together and meet guys there.This way they aren't there looking for only sexual gratification so you have a better chance to get the respect,honor,conversation,romance,friendship,commitment and love your looking for and need,then you can get the sexual gratification you want or need as well without feeling like a ho or that the guy doesn't respect you and is only looking for one thing.

If you decide to continue to look for these things in these places ladies I suggest you have your standards and hold strongly to them and if a guy approaches you in the wrong way politely let them know this,

• Such as:If they approach you with a sexual line or commenting on a body part of yours or something I suggest saying something like "excuse me?I would appreciate it if you didn't speak to me like that.If you want to have a conversation with me or get to know me just say hello or hi".

This will show them that you have standards and respect for yourself,then they can gather their senses and know how to talk to you in the future.You can start over if you decide to.

Don't just write off guys that approach you the wrong way either.Some guys don't know better (sadly) and others are just used to females responding to this approach (if they weren't getting positive responses to these approaches do you think they would continue to approach this way?) so stand up for yourself and teach them how to approach you as I suggested.Some guys that start out this way are actually okay and just need some guidance or direction.

 

When you start talking to guys pay close attention to the questions they ask you.This will give you an idea or tell you what they're interested in and therefore what they want.

 

Think of some good conversation starters that are open ended questions so they can tell you something about themselves without just answering yes,no,or maybe.

Also know that ALL guys want to know that getting sexual gratification is possible and ok with you at some point and even when that is.

It's my belief and feeling that you should have a conversation for at least 1 1/2 hrs straight before sex should come up in the conversation or 3 emails and then all of the conversation shouldn't be just about this subject.That way you know and get all the things you want and need.
 

Now past all this for both guys and females,I suggest that if you want these qualifications and are looking for them in these groups

• be more out going and active.
• Post messages saying hi,then stop in and correspond with others in the group,giving your feed back to questions and statements
• ask your own questions,post blogs on topics you feel passionately about that have to do with the group in some way.

If you do these things I guarantee that more people will respond to you and reach out to you,so you'll get to know more people and have that much more opportunity to get what your looking for.

There you go.I hope this blesses you and that maybe even it will allow the boards and groups to be more active in return.